Yeah. (Hey, judgers, I was fifteen!)
Needless to say, she freaked out, thinking that I was dead. Then, my sophomore year of high school I was basically blacklisted by the ladies. Not cool. I wouldn't suggest ending a relationship like that.
My sense of right and wrong - or my sense of morality - was telling me this was wrong behavior. But my emotion was telling me to do what was easy on me... and what I thought was funny. But it wasn't really funny, and I knew what the right thing to do was. The problem is, I let my emotion win the battle in my decision making process.
If there's one lesson I've learned that's more important than any other in regards to following this faith that I love, it's that emotion kills intention. Emotion is the enemy of action. I knew what was right to do, but I couldn't make the tough decision because I knew that I wouldn't enjoy going through it. I went with my "feelings" at the time. And the one thing I know now that I wish I would've understood fifteen years ago, is that I need to cut emotion out of the decision-making process.
When we need to make tough choices, such as the choice to obey or not, emotion can no longer be a factor. Emotions will always lead to self-preservation, or self-defense. They are centered around the subject of the one feeling the emotion. It will cause you to make decisions that seem to benefit yourself, but really only serve to postpone the pain for a later day. They keep you comfortable, and in keeping you comfortable, they kill the will.
Now I'm not saying emotions are inherently bad. They serve a great purpose in our lives, causing us to feel things like compassion and hurt for others, which in turn, lead us to help others with greater urgency. But although emotion can lead to action, it can never sustain it. When I get into a situation where my emotion brought me there, my emotion will always take me out of it as well. Why? Because, no matter what the situation or however high the passion, emotion will fade over time, and passivity or complacency will set in. And when it does, the need to self-preserve will take order in my life, causing me to do what feels good at that time. Emotion lives in the moment, only. It cannot see past it, it is produced by the moment alone. And what good is placing our lives in the hands of something that can only live in the moment?
Jesus said we need to "deny ourselves and take up our cross daily." (Matt. 16:24) And in my loose translation that means: "Deny the things that kill your will, because, in order to follow me, you will have to make tough choices that go against all the things you want to do to keep you comfortable!" Jesus knows the condition of the human heart. We don't want to have to make tough choices. We want to be comfortable. But Jesus is telling us that the only way to fulfill your calling and be like me is to deny yourself!! Kill your emotion! But the great thing is, THAT IS OUR BEST LIFE!
Jesus knows what's best for us.. He can see beyond eternity! He's telling us that, in order to make a difference in this world and be the person you were fully intended and created to be, you're gonna have to get over some of the things that you don't "feel" like doing. Daily. This is no easy task. It is true that the right choice is often the hard choice. But the right result is always the product of the right choice.
I can intend to be the person God created me to be until the day I die, and it will never change a thing until I decide to get over my own selfish desires and self-preservation mindset, and make choices that make a difference. Obedience does not require emotion, it simply requires obedience.
So, if you're ready to follow, then get ready to remove emotion out of the equation. There's no room for it here. Only obedience. Because you don't want people thinking you're dead when you should be saving them.
